A final Christmas warning!
This is a final warning. We’ve given you plenty. I mean, we’ve been warning you that Christmas is around the corner since June, or as we like to call it “the start of Christmas.” 6 months should have been more than enough to get organized. You could have pre-ordered your tree, done all of your of your shopping and decorating, and right now you’d be sitting, smugly, with a mince pie laughing at the Christmas rush. Surprise surprise, as with every year you ignored the wise words of Pines and Needles. It happens every year, every year we take it on the chin and think, next year we’ll try harder. It’s our duty to make sure that your Christmas goes off without a single hitch! Then we think next year we’ll work so hard they definitely won’t forget. Then you inevitably do, and we cry. The elves cry. Our tree experts cry. Even Louis from customers services stops listening to his unlimited Abba Christmas hits playlist, looks out the window, and cries a solitary Christmas tear. That’s how hard we take it when you haven’t prepped early. It’s not because it’s more work, it’s because we can’t stand the idea of anyone being disappointed at Christmas… So, here’s another reminder of what we can do for you. Do it for Louis. Please.
Duh! If you haven’t ordered your tree, you need to do this NOW NOW NOW! This is the last time we’re telling you. We’ve got real trees, artificial trees, mini trees, trees in buckets, trees on ceilings. We’ve got trees! ORDER IT.
Ta-Duh! Light bulb moment? You remembered your tree, but of course, you forgot the lights! This one's easy, run down to one of our pop-ups or place your order now! Hey, if you’re feeling really lazy, we can even put them on your tree for you. We’re that lovely!
Now this one’s a no-brainer. How did you forget the decorations? You literally have a tree in your house, Christmas lights in your home, you’ve probably also got presents and mince pies. Did you not stop at any moment and think, where are the decorations? Hurry up. You can order these here. That’s it. We’re not telling you again!